Samuel L. Jackson

"Mama I smoked the color TV." A wonderful quote from the film Jungle Fever. Spoken by a bonafide crack-head, Gator Purify. Played by none other than Mr. Cool himself, or as I like to call him: Uncle Samuel. Who would've guessed 18 years ago that Samuel LEROY Jackson would hold a title in the Guinness Book of World Records? His films combined have grossed more than any other actor's films in history: 7.42 billion in 68 films. I'm pretty sure Lakeview Terrace did not help him to get this title.

My earliest memory of Uncle Samuel, is of him giving one of his trademark over-the-top speeches in Deep Blue Sea. One in which he didn't get to finish because he was attacked by a shark. Apparently that's what he is known for. Over-the-top speeches. I never would have guessed.

Now I can honestly say that I respect and really believe that Uncle Samuel is a good actor. He's proved himself with films like Pulp Fiction, Die Hard with a Vengeance, The Long Kiss Goodnight, Jackie Brown, The Negotiator, A Time To Kill, and The Incredibles. But I keep asking myself, and really yearning to talk to Uncle Samuel to ask: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON UNCLE SAM? Deep Blue Sea, Changing Lanes, S.W.A.T., xXx State Of The Union, Snakes On A Plane, Black Snake Moan, 1408, and last but not least, fucking Lakeview Terrace! You need to get it together Uncle Sam. We need you to get it together Uncle Sam. We can't have some little boy growing up in Utah somewhere, reading the Guinness Book of World Records believing that he can earn that title doing films like The Man.

I can only hope that in the future Uncle Sam surpasses and is able to work through the pressure that comes along with a being a Guinness World Record holder.

With that said, I leave you with what might be the most facetious thing I'll ever hear.


"ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!